Prologue; by Jessica

When Sarah and Abby asked me to write a little blurb every now and then for their new site I was very excited. They asked me to write a little about ourselves in order to for all you readers to better understand us and what we’re about.

My first thoughts were, what am I gonna say that is going to give people a clear description of my friends and I? Then as I was in my basement (our normal hang out spot) watching Golden Girls with my brother I realized “holy shit…this is us.”

Basically we are 75 year old women in 20-something year old bodies.

Sarah is most like Dorothy in my opinion: Slightly a man hater, sexually amiguous, assertive, and sensitive (sometimes overly so, but aren’t we all?). Some of Sarah’s hobbies include drinking boxed wine (as we all do), making clothes and accessories, and reading celebrity gossip, another group favorite, but Sarah is the type who enjoys to steal tabloids from my bathroom magazine rack and pretend as if she didn’t just take it while she was “doing her business”.

Like an old lady Sarah hates being cold, despises obnoxious teens, and loud noises. Sarah is the type of grandma who doesn’t take any shit from the kids and yells at her adult children for trying to take away her independence because she can and will do it herself. She will be as blunt as a butter knife when telling you how she feels about something, just as old people do when they get to a certain age and lose their inner filter.

That being said Sarah is one of my longest friendships; we have been besties since about the 4^th grade and still going strong. She is one of the funniest and creative people I have ever known and love her more than words can express.

Abby on the other hand is more like Rose: soft spoken, optimistic yet nervous, a little ditsy, but very sweet. Like Rose, Abby is in her own little lala land where she dances and sings to her own drummer. Abby lacks the ability to comprehend how to use any new technology similar to an old lady. For example I know that Sarah will be the one setting up this site and Abby will be getting a tutorial from her on how it works but will never remember.

Abby is the cat lady type, she already has three cats and a dog of whom she is obsessed with and treats them like her children. Me and Abby have that in common while Sarah hates any sort living creature. Abby has some elderly pet peeves as well such as action movies because they make her nervous, rude people, and trashy outfits on the young ladies. She enjoys granny style things like knitting, having “girl fun” (which usually entails us sitting around watching a movie that Sarah rented from the library while chatting, laughing, and drinking some sort of sassy cocktail), and embarrassing the youngins by scatting and interpretive dancing.

Abby and I met our sophomore year of high school and we instantly fell in love. She fit perfectly to mine and Sarah’s duo to become a trio. Abby is one of my favorite people in the world, he carefree attitude and love of life is one of a kind. She always keeps a smile on my face.

As for me, I would consider myself Blanche: loud, obnoxious, slightly crazy, and neurotic. I’m the grandma who refuses to admit she’s getting old. I’m the cougar at the bar hitting on the young boys and trying to set up my girls. I dress differently, listen to different music, and have a totally different taste in men than Sarah and Abby but it works, just like it does for the golden girls. I don’t have too many senior citizen tendencies, but I do love trashy reality shows and gossip rags and a day at the salon chitchatting with my hair dresser like most old ladies.

When it comes to acting like a grandma I can’t help myself from being overly touchy-feely and squeezing everyone’s face. I hate things for no reason and don’t care to explain why, most of the time because I can’t like an elderly woman too. I like to think being the Blanche brings a little more excitement to the mix of Rose and Dorothy. All together I think we make a great team and we always have a lot of fun no matter what we’re doing.

Now I don’t want all of you to think that we’re all boring old hags with nothing to say because even though we have our senior tendencies we are very much young, modern women with a lot to say. I hope you all now are a little better acquainted with us.

Welcome to the blog!

love, jessica

(jessica will be our celebrity guest blogger every now and then since she brings the lols and also rules)